And it's been really hard since I haven't been enjoying the holidays because contrary to popular belief St. Patrick's Day is not my all time favorite holiday- Christmas is. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday even as a kid, I love all of the traditions that come out and come alive for this time of year I love lights and yes even some of the snow (first snows are always the prettiest).The great food and the massive amounts of baking that I haven't done in years.
This year I realized that I've gotten a little lost along the way. I've forgotten why I love the holidays and more importantly I realized that I may have lost a small part of myself, maybe not lost but I've buried it underneath all the trappings of adulthood- all the worry, anxiety, busyness of my life , and the pushing aside the things that actually matter . I've become one of those stories of the people who I said I won't let life and adulthood and my job, and my friendships and my responsibilities push away the things that actually matter. And I'm not saying I'm a total work- aholic and that all my life priorities are wrong because they aren't... but I've become out of balance and I've allowed that mis-alignment to take my happiness away from one of my favorite holidays and my life in general.
Times may be hard because I'm away from my family and those I love, it may be different because there isn't snow and it isn't cold, and money may be tight or virtually non-existent but I have plenty that I can be grateful for and maybe it's time I remember that. Maybe over the next week or so I'm gonna have to remind myself of that and start to change my attitude and my life.
