I've realized since I have moved home that my life is totally different than I thought it would be. I don't know about you but it was never my dream to graduate college and move home again, only to go back to a job that I quit 8 months ago. I realize that in saying this that there are plenty of people who move home after college in order to adjust to things; and I am very grateful that I have a home and someone where to live. But this really wasn't my dream...
I guess I always felt like well I'll finish high school and go to college and then after that I will become a productive member of society and everything will be awesome. My life will fall into place, everything will be perfect, and my 20s will be the time of my life. Hahahaha (that's me laughing at myself and my plans.) The one thing college doesn't really prepare you for is Post Grad. The syndrome that afflicts over 82 percent of students. (btw I just made that statistic up but I'm pretty sure it's accurate.)
Post Grad- Is when you graduate college and you feel as though you are so full of potential that you can and will do anything and everything. Then as time passes and you are rejected by jobs that you are obviously qualified for and your amount of debt increases stage 2 of the syndrome becomes apparent. You feel as though you are qualified in nothing and that the last 4 or 5 years of your life has been a waste. Your debt seems insurmountable, you may have to move in with your parents, and your job you are probably over qualified for that and may actually hate it. You are probably working more hours and actually make less money, and you are pretty sure you are too old for any of the things you use to do in college a.k.a hang out in bars and stay out all night. In the final stages of PGS you realize that maybe you can actually do something with your life and you apply for a job that you actually like and you actually get it. Life starts looking up and you become a bit more stable.
Let me just tell you I am def. in stage 2 of PGS. I live at home with my parents (who thanks to them I actually have a place to sleep.), I'm working at the job I was at before I moved, I def. have some insane (at least what seems insane) debt, and I am pretty sure that if I try to go down to our local bar one more time I may shoot myself. I feel as though I have out grown so much and yet I am stuck here for a lack of options. And at times I am pretty sure I am gonna go insane. But and thank God there is a but for this sentence, I have to believe that this is gonna get better.
I have to believe that this is not my life this is just my life for right now. And it hasn't all been bad I've done some things I never thought I'd do. I told someone how I really feel, I moved, I came home, in the past few weeks I've experienced some great adventures, and I've found some friends who I didn't even know were really there. So maybe this is what life is about. Sometimes things suck there is not enough time or money, there is fights and pain, but there is also laughter, being brave, and experiencing some great things with great people. So maybe it's not about perfection but experience. So for now I am trying to enjoy the good things, grow from the bad, and in between all that get my life together.
